April 24, 2015

“I’m a Windsor…. Don’t you know?”

Kissing Frogs: I’m a Windsor…. Don’t you know? A dating story by Anna Johnston - www.shenannagans.com

Ever found yourself breaking bread with someone who seemed to have ticked all the boxes in the first couple of casual meetings, but on the first date, managed to convince you they possibly lived in an alternate universe to everyone else?

This is a awkward yet comic dating story as I search for my Prince Charming, Superman, Shrek and Chippendale Dancer all wrapped up into one.

A couple of years back a friend introduced me to a guy she worked with, he was a tall, dark and handsome lad who had a good job and drove a cool car, he seemed educated, intelligent and was well traveled, he basically ticked all the boxes.  Several group hangs later, I accepted a real date with him, just the two of us. I won’t lie….. I was rather interested to get to know this fella, even just to hear more about some of the amazing places he’d travelled to.

I later dubbed this guy CrayCray, (you’ll soon know why, so hang in there OK)! He suggested a dinner date, I went to some trouble getting ready, hoping the night was going to be fun.  He picked me up and drove to a fancy restaurant, he was quite the gentleman through the seating and ordering process, everything was going great!

A beautifully set dinner table - the dating stories of a 30+ in Canberra - www.shenannagans.com

Just as the mains arrived, he announced that he had some concerns with dating me. A little taken back, but being a fair-minded gal I said, ‘Let’s hear them then’. He answers, ‘Well…. Just say we were having dinner with the Prime Minister and….’  I had to interrupt to ask ‘Why are we having dinner with the PM again?’. I wasn’t sure if this was a fun game or a hoop I was to jump through? I mean, I do work at the Press Club and have often sat in the same room eating the same meal as Prime Ministers past and present, even a President and a couple of World Leaders too, but….. I’d never actually sat at the same table as the PM, so it seemed pertinent to clarify before moving on.

Bob Hawke & John Howard laughing as old friends at the National Press Club of Australia - www.shenannagans.com

Bob Hawke & John Howard

Weird though it was, I was up for the challenge of playing that dating games of “lets pretend”, but nothing prepared me for the ‘I am a descendant of royalty’, he says.  Again, I required clarification, attempting to burrow down the rabbit hole he seemed to be leading this conversation. ‘Aaahh, how many descends ago were your family royal?’ I ask, only to be met by a rather steely silence.  Suddenly I knew, we were not playing a fun game, this dude was serious!!!

Moving along…. he says, ‘I’d be concerned you wouldn’t know how to behave at VIP dinners and formal occasions or whether you’d be confident using the right knife and fork for the right course’. #WTBleeeeeeep I sat there shaking my head, absolutely gobsmacked.

One Big Cock Cabernet Merlot - It's a wine you filthy minded peeps! www.shenannagans.com

One Big Cock Cabernet Merlot – It’s a wine you filthy minded peeps!

I’m not sure if my table manners passed the test that evening, or if I managed to keep my astonished jaw dropping expression firmly in a polite lady like position either, because the topics of the very one sided conversation went from sublime to the ridiculous and then some.  I particularly loved the long involved story he told of being abducted by Pirates in Burma, being stranded in Nepal after a landslide, and I’m pretty sure there was something in there about being struck by lightning too.

Suffice to say there were no second date with this Frog, but I have to admit I’ve had many a laugh since, so it was totally worth it.  I reckon he’d read too many action packed Wilbur Smith novels as a kid.

I give CrayCray

1 frogI’d love to know, which royal tickles your fancy? And have you ever dated an epic storyteller or someone who thought rather highly of themselves? 

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Anna

shenANNAgans is Anna Johnston, a 30 - something Aussie gal with an unwavering passion for the Hospitality industry. I love the quirky and unusual, designing events, travelling far and wide and eating food from all around the world. I am coffee blooded, a craft beer enthusiast, wine drinking yogi who enjoys writing about her adventures.

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Alison - June 3, 2015 Reply

Too bad you let that one get away…It’s not everyday one gets to date royalty!!! Hahah 🙂

Jean | Holy Smithereens - May 18, 2015 Reply

OMG Anna that guy is Royally NUTS! I honestly wouldn’t know how to react – maybe secretly video tape or record the convo and indulge him for more hilarious answers. Geez!!! Isn’t it interesting, no matter how some people seem normal or even cool in a group setting may all change when you get together in a one on one environment? Off with this guy’s head! (speaking of heads rolling, I am fascinated by the Tudors 😉

    Anna - May 19, 2015 Reply

    Haha…. I know, it really was one of the more crazy dating experiences Ive ever had, if only I thought to capture that on video, although prob wouldn’t be able to do anything with the footage (think that would break some serious laws). 🙂
    Oh yeah, I got right into the Tudors (you mean the series right?) Henry Cavill #swoon

Norma Chang - April 29, 2015 Reply

You are one cool chick, your post made me smile. Wondered how CrayCray would have handled the situation if you had refused to pay half of the bill?

    Anna - April 29, 2015 Reply

    Why thank you, very kind of you to say. 🙂
    And….. I suspect me refusing to pay half would not have gone down well at all, Norma.

    Sue - April 30, 2015 Reply

    That may be the most jaw dropping date story I have ever heard. I’m amazed you made it through dinner. Well might as well get a decent meal out of it. Wowza!
    As far as my own experiences the last time I dated anyone other than my husband was in 1979 so other than the T-Rex walking by nothing to report. 🙂

      Anna - May 5, 2015 Reply

      Haha, glad you enjoyed Sue. 🙂

      I think a part of me wanted to see just how much more crazy the date could get. Worth it for the story, it was.

      Bahaha…. That’s pretty funny. What a treat having a Dino walk past. Lol!

Raymund - April 29, 2015 Reply

That a nice brand name for a wine 🙂

    Anna - April 29, 2015 Reply

    Haha… Good answer Raymund. LOL! 🙂
    The wine is produced in my home town, wine makers with a real sense of humor, and it’s a pretty tasty too.

Bam's Kitchen - April 28, 2015 Reply

Let me guess… when the bill came he suggested a Dutch treat? I am so glad I am no longer required to participate in the dating procedures as I know I would fail immensely. Toast to you Anna for keeping your emotions in check during this encounter. Wishing you a better week ahead..

    Anna - April 29, 2015 Reply

    YEP! He sure did. 🙂
    Haha…. Lucky you not having to date, it is brutal. And thanks, although not sure I deserve it, I was so gobsmacked by the whole conversation, nothing much came out. LOL!
    Wishing you a wonderful week ahead sweets. 🙂

Hannah - April 28, 2015 Reply

Hahahaha classic!

Prince Harry all the way! I heard he was good at FIFA and have been brushing up on my skills (not actually how it went down but a convenient coincidence).

I haven’t dated any massive story tellers. However my Mum NEVER lets the truth get in the way of a good story.

    Anna - April 28, 2015 Reply

    He has been a great source of entertainment over the years, thats for sure. 🙂
    Prince Harry, yeah…. I agree, not for his FIFA skills, but because he looks fab in his uniform. Shallow I am!
    Teehee, bless your Mommas cotton socks, Ill have to ask her about her worst dating story. LOL

Hotly Spiced - April 28, 2015 Reply

What a tosser. How bloody rude. I bet he’s about as far removed from royalty as the rest of us. A real royal is like William or Frederick who choose their wives in pubs or universities and treat them like royalty from the moment they met them. I hope he didn’t ask you to split the bill xx

    Anna - April 28, 2015 Reply

    Hahaha! Yep, the whole experience was pretty weird, but it still makes me laugh, and well…. it turned out to be brilliant content to share with my blog buddies. LOL! 🙂

    I totally agree re being a real royal, you wouldn’t feel the need to tell people, if you were.

    And yes, he made me pay half. What a guy!!!

Sara | Belly Rumbles - April 28, 2015 Reply

That has just brightened up my Monday, hilarious. What a frog indeed.

Jess - April 27, 2015 Reply

This is tooo good! I thought I could really pick them, but you have exceeded my worst encounters.
The worst was an ex-Navy guy who, while charming spoke about himself, and only himself for the entire night.. only drawing breath when ordering. He also couldn’t use chopsticks and we were at a dumpling house, nuf said 🙂

    Anna - April 27, 2015 Reply

    LOL! It certainly was a goodun, very entertaining in hindsight, but not the worst date I have ever been on. 🙂
    Haha…. he invited you on a date to an Asian restaurant and he couldn’t use chopsticks? Oh dear!
    I could totes of suffered through the date with Navy guy if he was wearing his pretty uniform.

Amanda (@lambsearshoney) - April 27, 2015 Reply

What a hoot! I doubt I would have lasted the evening with a wally like him – I would have bolted after the first course.

Weekendparent - April 26, 2015 Reply

Oh dear, how funny. But I’m sure it wasn’t much fun at the time. I hope he took you to a really posh restaurant and that he paid the bill.

    Anna - April 27, 2015 Reply

    It’s hilarious now, even at the time I had a bit of a lol. 🙂
    Haha…. he did take me to a great restaurant, but when everything turned sour, he asked me to pay half the bill. REAL keeper.

Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella - April 26, 2015 Reply

Oh my god that date sounds excruciating! He sounds like he might stay alone for a looong time…

hassan - April 25, 2015 Reply

Hi Anna.
Can I have a wish for you my kind friend Anna:
the best days
the best moments
the best seconds
the best successes ?
Hope one day read your post about dinnering with Queen.

    Anna - April 27, 2015 Reply

    Thank you so much Hassan for your very kind words. You have made my day. 🙂
    And what a treat that would be, dinner with the Queen.
    Wishing you a wonderful week my friend.

Agness - April 25, 2015 Reply

Someone is super excited to be drinking some wine! You’re my girl, Anna!

Krista - April 25, 2015 Reply

Oh wow. What a wanker. 🙂 I’m shaking with laughter at this story, Anna. You’ve met some real doozies in your life!!! For the record, I think the PM would LOVE eating dinner with you. 🙂

    Anna - April 25, 2015 Reply

    Teehee! Yep, it sure was up there with being one of the more tragic dates I’ve been on. Still makes me chuckle when I think about it. LOL! 🙂
    And thank you, I’d like to think the PM would find my company a delightful addition at the table too.

Liz Posmyk (Good Things) - April 25, 2015 Reply

Oh dear! Thumbs down to that fella! (Love that photo of you with the naughty bottle of vino!). Yes, I did date someone (ONCE ONLY), who thought he was god’s gift. Remind me to tell you all about it some time. : )

    Anna - April 25, 2015 Reply

    It’s a little bit naughty, but oh so fitting! 🙂
    Cant wait to hear about your date with ‘god’s gift’. *giggles

My Inner Chick - April 25, 2015 Reply

LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.
I love this!
What a Royal Pain in the Ass!
Also, that photo of you is pure CLASSIC)))) XXXX

Rachel (Rachel's Kitchen NZ) - April 25, 2015 Reply

Oh, that little story has quite made my day – Anna. I was once asked out for dinner by a guy, who informed as we were reading the menu that he was fasting!

Mandy - April 25, 2015 Reply

Absobladdylutely CrayCray! I would have given him a wee piece of my mind had I been having dinner with him – diplomatically I promise.
Good fun read though ho.
Have a beautiful happy non royal weekend.
🙂 Mandy xo

    Anna - April 25, 2015 Reply

    I often wonder how CrayCray would have handled me dishing a diplomatic wee piece of my mind?! Although…. perhaps this post is my way of doing just that. 🙂
    Hope you are having a brilliant weekend too my friend.
    Hugs across the oceans.
    xox

Elizabeth - April 25, 2015 Reply

Oh Anna, don’t get me started about dating… I could write a novel!!! LOL! In fact I am in the middle of a very funny blog….. I haven’t had a cray cray, but a “good sort” type of a guy, if you know what I mean!!!! Anyway, should get back to it but I need a bottle of wine while writing to drown my misery!!!!! Liz xx

    Anna - April 25, 2015 Reply

    Nah, don’t waste a drop of vino in misery, if you are gonna drink, I say do it and be merry. Imagine how boring life would be if we didn’t meet the ‘Good Sorts, CrayCrays or Duck & Runners’. Cant wait to read your funny post, Liz. xo

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